i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize