Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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