So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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