yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
