I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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