it wasn't lemon gatorade
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
