my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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