so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Holy sore nipples Batman
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
