Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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