redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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