I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
