When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
