not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize