her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Farmville is her only friend.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
