he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
