I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
