I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i came on her dog
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Every concussion has its silver lining
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
