Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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