Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
