I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
