Where is the hickey?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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