We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
