yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
