Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
