That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
even my farts smell like vagina
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize