I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
