but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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