Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
