mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
