In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
