Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
