It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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