Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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