It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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