I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
