when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Omg I joined a choir last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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