I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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