This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
