bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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