whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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