That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
