Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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