I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
