I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
