My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
