Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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