STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
where am i from again
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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