if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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