Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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