grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize