Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
