I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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