i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found the puke drawer
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
