Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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