This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
