Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
