absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
