I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
