Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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