i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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