OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
