our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
